CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

A brief look at childhood trauma

Childhood trauma isn’t only what happened to you; it’s also what didn’t happen that you needed. It’s not defined solely by visible events, but by the emotional imprint of what your nervous system had to endure without enough support, understanding, or safety to process it.

As Gabor Maté often describes, trauma is less about the story and more about disconnection; from your body, from your feelings, and from your authentic self. When a child must suppress their truth to stay loved or safe, that suppression becomes an internal wound. The body adapts, the mind organises around survival, and parts of the self go into hiding.

Childhood trauma, then, is not a past event but a present pattern; a way the body and psyche continue to protect against pain that once felt unbearable. Healing means gently reversing that disconnection: returning to the self that had to disappear in order to survive.

In this, “trauma” is enduring something alone, so that you learned to cope in ways that were adaptive, and those ways that now don’t serve you.

Common signs and symptoms of childhood trauma can include:

  • Emotional regulation difficulties – intense emotions, mood swings, or feeling numb or shut down.
  • Chronic anxiety or hypervigilance – a nervous system that feels constantly “on alert.”
  • Low self-worth or shame – a deep sense of being “not enough” or unlovable.
  • People-pleasing or overachievement – striving for approval or control to feel safe.
  • Fear of abandonment or rejection – heightened sensitivity to disconnection or criticism.
  • Difficulty trusting others – anticipating harm or disappointment in relationships.
  • Dissociation or disconnection from the body – feeling detached, spaced out, or “not really here.”
  • Physical symptoms – chronic pain, gut issues, fatigue, or autoimmune conditions linked to long-term stress.
  • Relationship patterns – cycles of clinginess and withdrawal, or attraction to unavailable or unsafe partners.
  • Perfectionism or control – using order and achievement to manage inner chaos or shame.

These are not signs of weakness but adaptations, that is, ways the body and psyche learned to stay safe in the face of overwhelm. Healing involves helping the nervous system recognise that the danger has passed, and that connection and safety are now possible.

How I might work with childhood trauma:

I understand trauma not only as something that happened to you, but as what your body and mind had to do to survive. When safety, care, or connection weren’t consistently available, your nervous system learned to adapt, by shutting down, pleasing, over-controlling, or disconnecting from emotion. In therapy, we gently explore these adaptations with curiosity rather than judgment.

From an attachment perspective, we look at how early relationships shaped your expectations of love, safety, and belonging, and how those patterns repeat in adult life. Through a relational and analytic lens, therapy becomes a space to notice how those dynamics emerge between us, allowing new experiences of being understood and emotionally held.

Using schema therapy, we identify the core beliefs and modes that grew out of unmet needs, such as “I’m not safe,” “I’ll be abandoned,” or “I have to be perfect” — and begin to meet those needs in healthier ways.

Through somatic and polyvagal approaches, we work directly with the body’s memory of trauma, learning to regulate the nervous system, release stored survival energy, and restore a felt sense of safety and connection.

Together, these approaches help you reconnect with your authentic self, not by revisiting trauma endlessly, but by creating the safety and understanding that were missing, so your system can finally rest and heal.

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA CAN BE VERY ISOLATING. “WAS IT REALLY THAT BAD?” IF YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF THAT QUESTION IT TELLS US THAT PART OF YOU IS TRYING TO BE HEARD.

Childhood trauma operates on a spectrum ranging from neglect right through to active abuse. Making sense of this doesn’t have to mean endlessly reprocessing trauma, or finding an ultimate origin story for ‘who’s the bad guy’ (although sometimes this is obvious). It’s about you revealing your story from various vantage points, so that you can give voice to your experience without fear or shame. It’s the gentle witnessing of what you endured, but this time, not having to do it alone. 

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THERAPY IF YOU HAVE CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

All therapy begins with what’s call a ‘complex assessment’. A complex assessment is like a diagnostic scan: we take time to look under the hood of what’s happening with your mind, emotions, relationships, and life context. It means I ask more questions, look for patterns, gather different data, and aim to create a map (a formulation) of how all the parts of your experience fit together. The goal is not just to label, but to understand, so that whatever therapy we do, it’s better-tailored and more likely to help.

A complex assessment might have this kind of format:

  • Extended interview & history
    I’ll spend more time asking about your life history, early experiences, relationships, significant events, medical history, and patterns over time (not just what brought you in now).

  • Multiple sources
    I might ask for permission to speak with (or review reports from) others who know you (e.g. GPs, previous therapists), or look at past medical or psychological records (with your consent).

  • Use of tools / measures
    Schema questionnaires, symptom inventories, risk screening (e.g., self-harm or safety) may be used to give us structured data.

  • Contextual exploration
    I’ll look at your environment, cultural background, current stresses (work, family), social supports, and systemic factors (financial, social, health) that influence your struggles.

  • Hypothesis / formulation building
    Rather than just saying “you have anxiety or depression,” I build a “story” or “map” of how these themes developed, what’s maintaining them, and where change might happen.

  • Planning & recommendation
    The output is not just “you’re this diagnosis,” but a plan: what kinds of therapy may help, in what order or priority, what risks to watch, and what supports you’ll need. It means we agree on a shared understanding of what the ‘problem’ is, and we might not be able to address everything, but that’s not what therapy is for. What we can do is see where there’s scope to grow, evolve, unstick the stuck and transform, something.

To this end, each therapeutic plan is different and tailored to your needs, and we tweak as we go depending on your changing needs.

Get in touch to start the ball rolling

In a sea of different therapists it can be overwhelming to know who to trust. That’s why you can call me for free and chat for 15 minutes. Tell me more about what’s ailing you and ask me how I might work with you.